Heidi Montag and Jesus: The resemblance is uncanny.Photo: Getty Images

You know how sometimes when you go out drinking, you do things you wouldn’t do if you were sober? And the next morning, you wake up feeling kinda dirty and vow to never get that drunk again? It’s always a groundbreaking revelation, and you feel like you’re on the verge of a whole new put-together chapter in your life. Well, we had a similar feeling this morning, but it wasn’t brought on by drinking. It was caused by The Hills, and those of you who turned to MTV multiple times throughout the day yesterday know what we’re talking about. The Hills flowed like Champagne at Fashion Week (God bless that, however) in a mind-numbing marathon of Lauren’s favorite moments and greatest feuds or whatever the hell the past three seasons have brought us, packaged into special programming in preparation for tonight’s season-four premiere. Sponsored by Us Weekly, naturally.

As we watched the marathon, we started feeling a little angry because we realized nothing ever happens on this show, which would be forgivable if Lauren Conrad and her frenemies didn’t take themselves so damn seriously. We know Lauren does because she always looks so sad, as if her bursting fame has permanently shattered her once-vivacious spirit. We know Heidi does because she now sees herself biblically. Yeah, really. She told the Chicago Sun-Times of her feud with Lauren:

“There were rumors about a sex tape, but I had nothing to do with that. God knows the truth in all of this, and at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters. Jesus was persecuted, and I’m going to get persecuted, ya know?”

Yes, Heidi Montag and Jesus Christ’s situations were practically the same. Montag added she “always felt this crazy connection to God,” has been religious since she was 2 years old, and wants to release a Christian album.

When we read all this after having watched the marathon of The Hills greatest non-moments and realized just how seriously Heidi still takes herself, we just wanted it all to go away. When Jesus gets involved, you know it’s all gone too far, so we’ve vowed to lay off The Hills this season and inaugurate a whole new chapter in our lives. But sadly, just like those alcohol-induced promises to ourselves, we have a sinking feeling this one will last only until someone offers to buy us a drink. Sigh.

What a friend we have in Heidi [Chicago Sun-Times]

Barack with his rising-sun logo.Photo: Getty Images

Glambama strikes again! Barack Obama’s campaign has arranged for twenty fashion designers to create clothing and tote bags to sell on the campaign’s Website next month. The funny thing is the whole project came about in sort of a real-life Project Runway challenge scenario. Robin Givhan reports for the Washington Post that once grassroots supporters convinced the Obama camp to go along with the idea, designers had one week to sign on, come up with a sketch for the campaign to approve, and present a sample. With no strict rules on pricing, designers were allowed to use Barack’s image and his rising-sun logo in their designs. (Runway producers: Are you taking notes?) Diane Von Furstenberg and Isaac Mizrahi designed tote bags. Derek Lam designed a cotton muslin bag with a carnation print from his spring 2004 collection. Tracy Reese made a shirt, and Charles Nolan made a wrap T-shirt. Rumor has it Vera Wang, Russell Simmons, and Beyoncé are also contributing designs.

And remember that “Runway to Change” Obama fund-raiser being held here during Fashion Week, the invites for which misspelled Anna Wintour’s name? The designers who contributed to the clothing project have been asked to attend wearing their designs.

Givhan notes of the new clothes and bags, “The benefit to the candidate is a direct line to the ‘Project Runway’ crowd. The risk, of course, is being perceived as highbrow or shallow.” We say go ahead and sling that mud, Obama haters. It will be hard to make it stick to his supporters when they’re looking so Glambamarous in their new duds.

Fashion Designers Hope to Stitch Up an Obama Win [WP]
Related: Obama’s People Misspell Anna Wintour’s Name in a Bad, Bad Way

Phillip BlochPhoto: Patrick McMullan

This fall, celebrity stylist Phillip Bloch will join forces with Vivica A. Fox for the VH1 reality contest Glam God in search of the next great celebrity stylist. Sounds like glorious, trashy fun. We can’t wait to see spoiled B-listers throw hissy fits after getting dressed in horizontal stripes or high-strung Rachel Zoe wannabes break down after having massively misjudged the new fall color. The show is based on Bloch’s own experience dressing the likes of Jada Pinkett Smith and Nicole Kidman, and the way he described it to us at a private dinner for VH1 Save the Music in East Hampton this weekend, styling celebrities is high-stress guardian-angel work: “You’ll have to keep your sewing kit at the ready for any fashion disasters, and more often than not you’ll have to save them from their own bad taste.

“I’m the voice of reason,” says Bloch, who recently “saved Keisha Whitaker from gladiator sandals” during L.A. Fashion Week. The two of them were being interviewed by a reporter wearing the ubiquitous Balenciaga black-and-white gladiators. When Whitaker spotted them, she exclaimed, “Oooooh! I need those!” “And under my breath,” says Bloch, “I’m like, ‘No, you don’t.’ She starts going off, ‘I think I should get those! Don’t you?’” Bloch replied with a classic fake sneeze: “No, please don’t.” “She’s asking the reporter, ‘Where did you get those?’” he says. “And I’m kicking her, saying, ‘Don’t even ask. You don’t want to know.’”

But a stylist’s job isn’t done when the star puts on her outfit. Bloch says his favorite challenge on the show involves dressing an “It” girl for a party and then having to make her outfit perfect again so she can look good for the paparazzi. It’s based on Bloch’s own extensive experience dealing with fashion emergencies on the fly. “I dressed Halle Berry once and I dressed Salma Hayek once — well, I dressed them lots of times, but at different times they had premieres and someone hugged them and their strap popped!” says Bloch. “And you had to be there with your needle and thread. Because what are you going to do? You’re at a premiere and suddenly your girls are popping out. Both times, same thing. Hugs are dangerous.” —Jada Yuan

After months of anxiously awaiting the return of our favorite fashion design reality show, Project Runway Season 5 finally premiered last night! This season is going to fierce and only those who can “make it work” will be in the final three who get to show their collections at Olympus Fashion Week. If you are like us and cannot wait until next Wednesday to get your Project Runway fill, make sure you check out www.projectrunway.com to get the latest dish on your favorite show!
Make sure you check out the designers bios–and learn about their fashion inspirations, education, and careers. This week’s winner, Kelli, was the one who made the cut; we said auf wiedersehen to Jerry who’s rainy day fun was stormed by the judges.
The best part is the auction! I am dying to get my hands on a Runway original. Make sure you bid in the online auction! Each week, the designs will be up for bid, so you can actually own your favorite piece from the challenge. Right now, Kelli’s winning dress constructed from hand-painted vacuum bags and coffee filters is currently leading the auction. Make sure you also check out Blayne’s and Daniel’s designs and place your bid!

You can also look through all the photo galleries see the behind-the-scenes action at Project Runway. Check out the designers as they learned about the first challenge and the finished designs on the runway. Look at all the designers hard at work in the workroom, the models getting their hair and makeup done,
sexy and tour the apartment. Make sure you also check out all the videos, where you can see the audition tape from the cutting room.

Lastly, make sure you keep up with the blog! It is updated continually with posts about this week’s guest judge, Austin Scarlett, information from the cutting room floor, and more. You can also shop for your favorite fan merchandise, like the Tim Gunn Bobblehead.

Now you’ll be the know-all about everything Project Runway!